Birth date: Feb 19, 1933 Death date: Nov 12, 2020
Helen was born on February 19th, 1933 in the Bronx, NY (not in Manhattan as her birth certificate says) to deeply observant Jewish parents, Max Kane & Rose (Katz) Kane. Helen was the first-born of 3 children and is survived by her Read Obituary
From Helen's Daughter, Ivy:
I will miss the mom whom I knew to always be so supportive of me. For so much of my later teen years & my younger adult years, she was a wonderful friend. We could talk about anything, really.
Despite the divorce from Joni's, Beth's, & my father when I was 9 and despite the difficulties that my mom had in appreciating the obvious beauty and talents that she had, she always managed to be one of the great "cheerleaders" in my life. Also, she was a very liberal-minded woman with a readiness to laugh with her very wry sense of humor, so I really enjoyed that. And, at times, I even enjoyed wearing clothing that had my mom's style (big prints on big shirts worn with leggings) and it just didn't quite look the same on me as it did on her! (lol) :->
Her struggle to find peace-of-mind actually laid before me many new opportunities. Visiting her & Nelson in Spain and, ultimately, moving there right out of college for a few years as I traveled & worked in the tennis world and gained fluency in Spanish proved to be an essential phase in my life. This period thus developed my employability skills and gave me SOooo many varied experiences.
And, while there, I observed what-looked-to-me to be a woman who was feeling pretty well-fulfilled (despite some regrets). She was blossoming in her adventurism, entrepreneurial endeavors on 2 continents, learning a new language & culture, meeting people from all over the world, playing tennis, and, much to my happiness, exerting her influence for my benefit there! She was instrumental in getting me a great position in a 5-star hotel in Marbella. I will be forever grateful for those years!
I also got my mom's appreciation for looking at and fixing up homes. I went with her & Nelson to look at many, many homes that they wanted to fix and flip OR for them to live in -in San Diego & in Phoenix. We, also, went together to house-hunt as my husband, Ken, and I looked for our 1st home in San Diego! She & Nelson were very generous when they gave Ken & me money to help us put a down payment for our 1st home in 1986. We could not have done this without their help (and my dad's)!
There is so much that happened between then and now. And the essence that remains is the gratitude for my mom's love and the love I share with my sisters, Joni & Beth. I will be eternally grateful to Beth & Tim for their marathon of hard work as they tried to help our mom feel at peace. It was a long 7-8 years.
I will, also, be eternally grateful that Beth & Tim (in New Jersey) did a FaceTime Video call with Joni & me (in San Diego) so that we could all be with our mom at Givinish's Funeral home one last time. We all told her how much we love her & will miss (the many different versions of) her. We were "together" as Beth & Tim stroked her hair and touched her cheek. Tim said a lovely prayer that helped us unite in sending our mom on her way.
Thank you so much for listening.
With love & gratitude for the Life our mom gave me,
ivy
By Chris Concannon (grandson)
My grandmother, Gram Gram, passed away November 12, 2020, and will be missed by all who knew her. I have such fond memories of her, albeit she was never the traditional grandmother figure. I remember while growing up visiting her in New York regularly. The smell of cigarette smoke and the cigarette holders she used. I can still see and feel some of her modern art and decor. Who can forget all all of her pictures of her when she was younger she always had on display. She was a beautiful woman and did well for herself in life. You could always count on her to speak her mind, welcome or unwelcome, and had opinions on everyone. She had a beautiful smile and her own unique fashion style and all her jewelry which made her stand out. She sometimes spoke of being a reincarnated Egyptian queen, and who knows maybe she was one. She was a special and unique person, that I will always have great memories of, she was loved and will be missed.
Chris Concannon.................
By Matt Concannon
Grandma. She was my Grandma, our Grandma. We lost most of of other grandparents many years ago as children, so Gram Gram as we called her was the only representative of that generation and that endearing figure through most of our lives. To call her the Matriarch would be beneath her, as my brother Chris pointed out, she was clearly a Queen. She adorned herself accordingly, a cross section between Fitness model, Punk Rocker and Ancient Royalty. But even through all the charade, and when she wasn't rolling them, she had the kindest eyes of a loving Grandma, filled with real appreciation for her family. It was always a treat to go visit her and see the other wordly smoke filled managerie of black leather, white fur, and tribal artifacts. I definitely inherited some of my decorating style from her. I would rumage through her giant ornate rings like buried treasure. She was the cool grandma, she kept it real and spoke her mind. It wasn't always easy to see her joy, but when you did, she lit up a room with her smile and laugh. I wish I knew her better and treasure the moments that we had. It was never filler with her, but real genuine time. She carried her chin high till the end with dignity and pride, and I am proud to call her my Grandmother
Grandma. She was my Grandma, our Grandma. We lost most of of other grandparents many years ago as children, so Gram Gram as we called her was the only representative of that generation and that endearing figure through most of our lives. To call her the Matriarch would be beneath her, as my brother Chris pointed out, she was clearly a Queen. She adorned herself accordingly, a cross section between Fitness model, Punk Rocker and Ancient Royalty. But even through all the charade, and when she wasn't rolling them, she had the kindest eyes of a loving Grandma, filled with real appreciation for her family. It was always a treat to go visit her and see the other wordly smoke filled managerie of black leather, white fur, and tribal artifacts. I definitely inherited some of my decorating style from her. I would rumage through her giant ornate rings like buried treasure. She was the cool grandma, she kept it real and spoke her mind. It wasn't always easy to see her joy, but when you did, she lit up a room with her smile and laugh. I wish I knew her better and treasure the moments that we had. It was never filler with her, but real genuine time. She carried her chin high till the end with dignity and pride, and I am proud to call her my Grandmother
Matt Concannon
From Fredda Schildt, her niece:
Helen was my aunt and a friend, and we shared a special connection. She and Uncle Nelson (I never knew her first husband, and I have only vague memories of 'Uncle Matty') were the 'cool' aunt and uncle. You know--they moved a lot, they spoke their minds, they always had stories to tell, and they just seemed to like to have fun (and I use that term loosely). I remember getting cassette tapes from them when they lived in Spain; it was so tech-forward to hear their voices across the ocean! And it was Uncle Nelson, who upon hearing that I wanted to fly to visit my friend during college spring break but didn't have the money, offered to loan me the money. I was shocked, to which he replied matter-of-factly in his husky voice "well, I'll loan it to you, and if you never pay me back, I'll never loan you money again.' You know I paid them back every penny!
After Uncle Nelson died, it took some time to stop saying "Aunt Helen and Uncle Nelson." They were one entity. Aunt Helen and I spoke on the phone frequently and the topics rotated like this: computer/iPad, tennis, politics, family, computer/iPad, tennis, politics, family, and so on. We had many good laughs and picked apart politics a lot. She was more tech-savvy than she ever gave herself credit for. We played a lot of Words with Friends---and she kicked my butt 9 times out of 10! In fact, one of our last conversations was about that very thing--which gave her quite a laugh. She seemed surprised that I was as bad as I was at the game.
Visiting her in Rockaway was a treat. There was always something fascinating to see in her place--photos, decorations, her latest clothing purchases... Yes, as we've already heard, she had her own sense of style--but she wore it with a confidence that was effortless. It was just who she was. Headbands? Check. Kaftans? Check. Anything out there, or a bit off-the-grid? Check. She was just Aunt Helen. Maybe we should all take a page from her playbook; if we stop caring quite so much about what other people think about what we wear, we'd all be a little happier. She also spoke her mind--even in the famous Gigi-like stage whispers that people across the street could hear--and you always knew where you stood with her.
The last conversation I had with her was when she phoned me. She hadn't done that in a long time, so it was an extra-special surprise. We laughed, and I think she was pleased that she made me so happy by calling. She was clear, and sounded great and I was sure to tell her I loved her.
She was loved deeply and will be missed greatly.
From Susan Jacobs, her sister:
My sister, what can I say? To know her was to love her. Regarding her sense of style, she wore one t-shirt of sorts, that had a picture on the front, of a wolf. It was larger than life and really scared me. It covered the entire front of the shirt. She had a mind of her own and when asked not to wear it sometimes, you know that was a lost cause.
I loved her and will miss her very much.
